Phallimeter (Pecker Measure Conversion System)


Introducing the one and only Phallimeter Pecker Measure Conversion System! This 13 inch x 2 inch aluminum "ruler" has two measuring systems on the front. On the top is "What he says" which has 18 inches in the length of 12 actual inches. The bottom shows "What she thinks" which has only 6 inches spanning the 12 inch length. And on the back is an actual 12 inch ruler split into 2-inch segments demonstrating what she will say based on actual penis size.

0-2 = Where is it?
2-4 = Well, it's kinda cute.
4-6 = Can you work it?
6-8 = C'mere studmuffin!
8-10 = Are you a porn star?
10+ = Oh hell no!!!

This is a great gift for a bachelor or bachelorette party, a birthday, the Dirty Santa game, or just as a gag gift! You can even personalize it for the person to make sure they know you were thinking of them when you got it!

- Made of aluminum so it will never rust
- High gloss UV-PRO coating resists fading
- Non-embossed
- 100% made in the USA

If personalizing, please include the name you want printed when you checkout.

Shipping from United States

Processing time

1-3 business days

Estimated shipping times

  • North America : 1 - 3 business days

I'll do my best to meet these shipping estimates, but can't guarantee them. Actual delivery time will depend on the shipping method you choose.

Customs and import taxes

Buyers are responsible for any customs and import taxes that may apply. I'm not responsible for delays due to customs.

Payment Options

Secure options
  • Accepts Etsy gift cards

Returns & Exchanges

I gladly accept returns, exchanges, and cancellations

Just contact me within: 14 days of delivery

Ship items back to me within: 30 days of delivery

  • Custom or personalized orders
  • Digital downloads
  • Intimate items (for health/hygiene reasons)
  • Conditions of return

    Buyers are responsible for return shipping costs. If the item is not returned in its original condition, the buyer is responsible for any loss in value.

    Questions about your order?

    Please contact me if you have any problems with your order.

    Reviews (6)


    Was perfect for measuring my tiny penis! Great gift for sph lovers!

    Item exactly as described. Truly hilarious item

    Easy transaction; careful packaging; fast shipping.

    Legal imprint